CROWNHEIGHTSMOM CATCHES THE FLU AND REFLECTS ON THE MOM GUILT IT CAUSED …by Debra Lewis-Boothman

Just four days after appearing on WPIX TV 11 in NYC  talking about mom guilt I found  myself  laid up in bed with the flu  and feeling just awful inside about getting it.

crownheightsmom isick in bed  with the flu

crownheightsmom isick in bed with the flu

Click to WPIX-TV 11-Mom Guilt

I was pretty much feeling   annoyed at myself for  coming down with the flu  . I mean it’s not like I have super powers to shield myself from  all colds and  flu but the  “It’s your own  fault” voice echoed over and over heavily in my head.   Blame myself I did  because as of the writing of  this  post I still have yet to get  a flu shot.

I know, but I just never got around to getting it. I meant to but   kept putting it off because I rarely get sick and whenever I  do  get the flu shot I end up sick two weeks after. So this year I  said to myself I will see if I can make do without it and like many healthy  people who take their  vitamins supplements,  exercise, eat well  and  run daily.  I figured, I would be ok.

Looking back,  I should have visited my docs office when I saw the glaring headlines  stating that the Center for Disease Control and Prevention had released  flu data reports showing that  the 2014-2015   flu season was at epidemic levels with 8.5% of deaths occurring  due to pneumonia and influenza. The report also said that this was  an increase from the year and  with   19 reported deaths. There was no data for adult death as the only keeps tracks of children’s death and the 19 CDC reported  cases were   all  of children having died of the flu across  the  United States.

Click to go to the CDC.

Weighing heavily on my mind since coming down with the flu  were  thoughts of  ‘I do not want the children to catch it.’  I felt assured  that they wouldn’t because my husband and I made sure  they’d received their flu shots when school began in September. My only hope was in that the vaccine would  protect them from this bad strain of flu  going around  hoping their  little  immune systems stay strong. Right after the  first snowstorm in  November  we started  to give them   daily does of elderberry vitamins to help boost their immune systems and I began to pack  an orange a day in their lunch boxes and have been giving them  more tangerines and grapefruit slices to boost that Vitamin-C intake  . Knock-on-wood,  I can say that so far so good.  These  have  helped.

WP_20150121_001

Zarbees Elderberry for kids helps their immune system stay healthy

Day 5 of being bed bound,  I  literally  crawled out of my  bed and forced myself to go  outside  taking our dog Hiro with me out for a walk. This was  more so because I really needed the walk more than our Akita  did . I needed to feel the cold air biting my cheekbones and passing  through  my nostrils. Doing  this  would  somehow  cleanse  me  of this  flu bug that had invaded my body and rendered me down,  but definitely not out.

Going for a walk with our dog Hiro  helped big time!

Going for a walk with our dog Hiro helped big time!

I was definitely thankful  that it was the long MLK holiday  weekend  so the worry of  shuttling  back and forth on the subway with the kids I did not have to do until Wednesday. This thankfully gave me some extra time to recover at home.

On the mend . I owe my recovery to a little vegetable called Ginger root . Yes, thank goodness for ginger root.  I live by this veggie’s properties which act as a herb . I am drinking my ump-teenth glass of ginger tea, which as far as I am concerned is the reason that I am feeling so much better. With my appetite gone, my six times a day freshly  grated  ginger root  tea became my constant companion. Simmered in hot water   with a teaspoon of  brown sugar  to taste  I devoured a cup of it every two hours .Boy, did it work wonders. It got me on the mend and I cannot recommend it enough. It also helps that it tastes oh so good. It has definitely been my savior.

Ginger root does the body good

Ginger root does the body good

HOW TO PREPARE YOUR OWN  GLASS OF GINGER ROOT TEA .

What you will need to begin –

Frozen  ginger-root grated

Frozen ginger-root grated

Grated ginger root in hot water

Grated ginger root in hot water

Wash 3 roots of fresh ginger and freeze  overnight in a zip lock bag.. (Note – fresh ginger root is usually sold at  your local supermarket,  in the  fruit and vegetable section. You can also find at  the Korean Vegetable grocers . Pick up enough to last you a few weeks .. You are freezing the ginger because it makes it easier to grate it .)

You can choose to peel off the beige skin or keep it on. I usually peel mine.

Grate  one root and scoop the  grated contents into  your personal coffee mug

Add hot water and sweeten with brown sugar  or your chosen sweetener to taste. You can also choose not to sweeten.

The ginger root’s pulp will  settle at the bottom of your cup. Stir it up and  drink up all the contents . It’s the grated pulp thats the secret weapon to curing you and getting you on the mend.

With my flu ebbing away  as I sipped on my ginger tea my only wish was  that it would also cure  the mom guilt I felt about getting sick.  I finally decided that  I was going to stop beating myself up about it.   I am not a genie or a  wizard with  powers to  protect myself from  getting sick. It’s nature, it happens and  I was over  feeling guilty about it  .

Looking into the  subject of Mom Guilt I found that moms all walks of life—-rich, poor, black, white all experience this guilt. Although  usually attributed to working moms —-as was discussed on WPIX-TV 11—-and moms  balancing home and work life  I found that mom guilt attaches itself to a woman the moment she gives birth and stay-at-home moms  battle it just as often as working mom do .

Looking back at my own mom guilt , I tried to recall  how far back it ran and hit it on the nail at the newborn stage when i would   feel guilt if the babies  cried  too much. I remember  usually thinking  maybe I didn’t nurse long enough or maybe  I didn’t spend enough time burping.   As they got older the newborn guilt transferred   into the toddler guilt  and those feelings  included the am I spoiling them, am I giving in  and lifting them up whenever they cried , is the temper tantrum a result of my not being in control.,  there was also the  diaper rash guilt feelings of feeling  responsible for leaving on that wet diaper way too long, and the not packing enough snacks or clothes when we went out  for when messes occurred.  The list goes on and on and it made me ask my husband if he ever experiences any dad guilt feelings. He said of course dads get it too. But  my response to this was not in the same way  moms do .

When I appeared  alongside  Denise and Melisssa of the MOMS on PIX 11-TV NY discussing this topic   morning news anchor Sukanya Kirshnan  gave out  tips  to  help combat it. See below.

http://pix11.com/2015/01/12/dealing-with-moms-guilt/

I am happy that  my husband held down the fort while I was out of commission helping  with the take home  homework, making  breakfast, lunch and dinner and doing the  food shopping.  He allowed me to get all the rest I needed in order to get back to a healthy place.

Cheers to him as I sip on another cup of ginger tea .  Baby, I am back!

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